Dummie’s guide to reading the signs – (not strictly restricted to signs as in ‘body language’)

Disclaimer: Most (yes, most) of the points mentioned here are the author’s own observations. None of the instances mentioned here are to be considered as diagnostic in nature.

1) If your call in the middle of the night to a friend is greeted with an unusual, long vowelled hey (like heeeeeeeey), know for god’s sake that he’s digging his nose into something else. Like in the middle of courting a cute face on chat or simply in bed trying to get some sleep. If you intend to continue your conversation, you will most certainly be encountered with disinterested monosyllabic answers (ranging from ‘ohhh’ to ‘mm’). You will even be bewildered when he loses the track completely and tries to make it up by posing stupid questions.

2) Girls can fake attention like no other. For instance, if your conversation is responded with way too many ‘nods’, be sure that it’s time to decide if you really want to continue that. Same way, if you can make out a fake smile you would save yourself from the embarrassment of feeling exhausted for no use whatsoever.

3) On a date, if your date displays no visible preference for any of the exotic delicacies mentioned in the menu - and simply says you order - it is more likely that he or she has absolutely no idea whatsoever about the cuisine. May be you will want to consult him/her the next time (if at all there was one).

4) If you are jobless for a couple of months and had no luck in a million job interviews and are in the brink of frustration, try and keep cool. This situation most certainly lands you up in a nice job in the end. Rather unexpectedly when you almost gave up all the hopes.

5) Ok, it could be the best seller that won the biggest prize for writing. But if you couldn’t cross more than 10 pages no matter how hard you tried, the book, most certainly, is just not your choice. Chances are more likely that the book will lurk around in your bookshelf without you even being bothered about the space it occupies – if not for any other reason.

6) Ok, you think you look handsome and are smitten with your looks. But, on a Friday, if your favorite T-shirt decides to play the traitor and could no longer camouflage your flourishing potbelly; it’s high time you decide whether start going to gym or send those t-shirts flying out of the window.

With that, I guess I’ve exhausted my imagination. Well, it’s time for me to read more signs.

P.S: Thanx for the fellow bloggers for inspiring me to think (if I can call this inspirational thinking)